-By Kalpanadevi Thiyagarajan, Sunnyvale, CA
Pain is one of the most real sensations - even a newborn child experiences it. The original thought was that the more advanced a neural system is, the more pain an organism can feel - which makes humans the most conscious of pain. However recent studies say that even plants and trees sense pain. Regardless of who feels pain, suffering follows. The entirety of human existence revolves around escaping this suffering. Pain and suffering are inseparable. An incident that happened years back in my life taught me differently.
ChildBirth and Pain
For the most part, the labor process is an unavoidable process for most and consequently holds its own when it comes to imaginations of pain involved in the process. I was not exempt from this as I prepared for my first pregnancy years back. At that time, there wasn’t much information floating around(maybe it was for the best!), as is today freely available.
I had to rely on the ‘Lamaze’ or Childbirth classes that were given free of charge as part of the maternity package in the hospital where I would ultimately birth my child. One big takeaway that I did come away with, was to practice staying with the breath during fake contractions. I religiously followed this in the months leading upto my labor but the real test came on the big day!
Labor day
On the wee hours of Dec 10, 2007, my water broke and I was rushed to the maternity ward. In the grip of the slowly intensifying contractions, I tensed and panicked. Even with my husband’s reassuring tones, I was losing control. That was when an angel entered the room!
Judy, the nurse assigned to me, guided me that day to the most important lesson I learnt. She taught me to see the graph which measures my contraction, ‘When the line starts picking up vertically, you know your next contraction will begin. I want you to focus on your breathing then. Close your eyes and breathe.’ Saying so, she stepped out.
I closed my eyes and followed her words. Pain swamped me and I stayed with my breath. As the contraction ebbed away, I opened my eyes and felt momentarily relieved. When Judy returned, I told her, ‘I think this contraction was less intense, I didn’t feel the pain much, as compared to the last one.’ Judy laughed, ‘In fact, this contraction was way more intense than the last,’ and she showed the evidence in the graph where I could clearly make out the new one being vertically longer than the previous one. She smiled and looked back at me, ‘You did this, keep at it.’
Lesson Learnt!
Even though this was my practice for months, I needed that guide at that moment to teach me what I knew. Judy was my savior that day; I went on to birth my daughter without pain meds (which was something I was keen on from the beginning). Birthing, I learnt, was an act of creation and I didn’t want to miss this intensely divine act on account of the pain involved. That day, as I wallowed in my newfound role of motherhood in life, I also learnt a powerful lesson which is also an old Buddhist saying - ‘Pain is inevitable but suffering is optional’ .
